SISTARHOOD RISING COMMUNITY

Connect with yourself.

In the past I fell into patterns of entering relationship after relationship because I enjoyed the feeling of being seen and feeling chosen. I moved quickly without getting to know the person and the chemistry we had quickly dissipated because there wasn’t an emotional bond to keep it afloat. I’ve learned my lesson since getting to know myself deeply and now I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life.

It is a beautiful space to be in but there is a part of me that wants to feel seen and appreciated for all I have done, all I have overcome.. Just the feeling of being held and loved without judgement, just pure acceptance of me in every emotional state. It feels good. I’ve felt it before in a connection and although I wouldn’t choose that partner again I remember how free I felt to be myself and how electrifiying it felt to be embraced for who I was.

It’s natural to fantasize about the type of partner you would like in your life. But whats not natural is searching for that partner and placing your happiness and joy in the idea of someone completing you. I’ve also been there.

Now? The priorities have changed and I realize I am not who I was and I refuse to go back to patterns that never served me to begin with.

Anytime I feel lonely I pour into myself. I look in the mirror and affirm my beauty and radiance. I talk to myself in first person and in second person depending on how I feel. I give my body what it needs, sometimes its movement. Dancing sensually, rubbing my body as I embrace all of its curves. I watch myself in the mirror sometimes and am in awe of how I am, choosing to show up and also grow in how comfortable I feel with myself.

Sometimes I sit down and hold my legs with my cheek on my arm and I rock back and forth and I tell myself everything will be okay. “I am safe” “I am loved” “I value you”.

I stretch using my yoga wheel to release the tension in my back from carrying so much by myself. I use my massage roller to massage my legs and feet.

I take hot baths with epson salt and candle light or a night light and sound bowl music or other music that uplifts my spirit.

Sometimes I paint and talk to myself about things that are bothering me. I write. I walk, I run, I bike, I play, I jump, I exercise. Literally whatever I need, I do. And it took practice to know what I need. Some days I experiment. I try painting, and maybe I just paint for a few moments and I realize I need to do yoga or lay down and relax.

I go with the flow, but I always listen. Something that I never used to do.

I feel like romantic relationships, in my life, has been the biggest distraction from myself. I always looked outside of me for proof that I was lovable. I had wounds that reflected back in all of my partnerships and it wasn’t until I fully chose myself when another cast me aside that I began to see things clearer.

It takes a lot of acceptance to realize a relationship that you realllllly want to work out, isn’t working out at all, and never really has. The acceptance comes when you are tired of replaying the same cycles with yourself and with the other person.

Once you know what doesn’t feel good, you can decide what you need to give yourself to feel more at ease. And when in a relationship , that can often mean distance…boundaries. Although hard, it is necessary to set those boundaries for yourself. Emotional boundaries, physical…. set them and be stern with them. No more self neglect and then frustration at the other person. See your role & choose differently.

From my experience, I can say I’ve felt alone emotionally especially throughout the past 4 years. Now is my opportunity to be there for myself especially in those moments when I crave the embrace of a healthy man. I am that healthy man for myself lol and its better that way! No distractions over here! I have two children and a whole life I am building!

If you are in a similar space, build your community. People that are supportive and uplifting. Let go of all those who wish to tear you down! You don’t need that! Even when you love them. You will know you care about yourself when you have the courage to set boundaries with people who are harming you.

All the love you wish to pour into a man, pour into your mind, your heart, your body, your art, your future, your entire life! It will expand dramatically!